sure brings new meaning to "barbershop quartet"

ok, so i seriously have tried to post a couple of times in the last week, but was unable to do so because apparently the blogger server was down. a lot.

oh well, back to normal now, i suppose.

your topic for today? or tomorrow? or whenever you read this... haircuts! but not just any haircut, a haircut from paradise cuts. yes, this is a real place in fairfax. and trust me, when i need my hair cut again, i'll be there. i actually have a friend whose husband tried the place out (upon hearing about it from his wife) - he asked the girl whether it was advantageous to cut hair in a bikini/sarong/hot pants/whatever they where in there... i mean, in my mind, i'm sure it's totally different than what it really is... kinda like a sorority house pillow fight, if you will. anyway, i digress. the stately young woman that cut his hair told him it was very easy because she could simply go home, slip off her bikini top, hop in the shower, and be done. no hair getting stuck to clothing, etc. interesting take. i wonder what my women's studies class would think about this whole idea?

sweet.

this might be the one time in my life that i wish my hair would grow faster.

read more about it in a wapo article here. another cool part about the article? the UVa shout-out, of course.

a weekend in new jersey

i went to new jersey over the weekend. no, i didn't choose too... well, not really - it was a little bit of that and a little bit of being forced to. i went to a conference for work. it was interesting. we ate at all the famous new jersey places such as mcdonalds, chili's, and bob evans. yes, i said bob evans, and yes, it is absolutely incredible. i should eat there more often.

anyway, the big news out of new jersey this weekend? no left turns! what the hell is that all about? i've never really spent time in new jersey other than when i've been to atlantic city, so i was quite shocked at this traffic regulation. i can only guess that it cuts down on traffic accidents... but talk about inconvenient.

it goes something like this:

person 1: "wow, we're in new jersey and look, there's our hotel ahead on the left."
person 2: "cool, i'm so glad we finally made it. new jersey traffic sucks."
person 1: "yah it does. phew. where's the turn?"
person 2: "right ahead i think, yah right there..."
person 1: "wait, what the fuck? there's a no left turn sign there!"
person 2: "what? whose stupid idea is that? i mean, we are in new jersey, but come on!"
person 1: "so now what do i do?"
person 2: "i guess you have to turn right up here and then circle through 2 residential blocks..."
person 1: "and then what?"
person 2: "pray that you come out in the right spot so you can turn left at the light"
person 1: "ugh."

that's pretty much how the whole weekend went. just change the word "hotel" to "bob evans" or "dunkin donuts"

the armpit of america

i will be in new jersey all weekend for the eastern states swimming coaches clinic. neato.

so, read connor's blog in the meantime. i told him i would link him up.

i'll be sure to try to get my picture taken with michael phelps.

seriously, some people

if you actually read these posts, you could probably infer that i actually hate most people. that would be accurate. i have a friend who we used to say didn't actually like anybody, he just hated some people less than others. i'm not quite that bad, but the general public annoys me most of the time... whether it be umbrellas (see yesterday), ipods (that's a topic for a whole different day), or what happened today...

andy and i went on our usual pilgramage to smoothie king. everything was going normal until some donkey kong walked in the door. andy and i were casually chatting and minding our own business, but it was very difficult to ignore how much of an idiot this guy was. first of all, it's 4 o'clock in the afternoon - if you're not like andy and i (i work construction... we start/finish early, andy manages and sets his own hours), a teacher, a real estate agent, a swim coach!, or a lawyer, what the hell are you doing at 4 o'clock in the afternoon not working? he wasn't dressed like any of the above, so i will just assume that this guy sucks.

the same lady is usually there working when we go in, so i assume that mr. self-important actually thought that he mattered to this lady. when she politely asked him what he would be having, he said, oh you remember what i want, right? she chuckled with a little bit of nervous laughter, and actually managed to remember probably half of what this guy wanted. who knows what it was, but, since she didn't remember it all, mr. important figured that she MUST know, because he is so important. so instead of just telling her, he kept prompting her with, "with? wiiiiiith? wiiiiiiiiith? you know what i like it with!" until finally his dumbass realized she just didn't know, and quite simply, didn't care. "extra honey," was his final command. seriously, this guy had like an extra-hot tall skim no-foam latte with extra whipped and room for cream kind of order going on.

so, as the smoothie was getting made, he made sure he hovered right over her, and even said, "don't forget to hook me up with that honey! yah, yah! there you go! right on!" except, not in a nice way, but in a, "i'm just making myself look like an ass" way.

as we were on our way out, i overheard him say to her, after she had made his smoothie, that he was hoping she could hook him up and give him an extra punch on his smoothie king frequent buyer card, since he forgot to get it punched the last time he was in, and since she served him, she definitely must remember him, right? right?

damn i wanted to punch that guy. so did andy. now that's saying something.

les parapluies d'idiots

i have a paper proposal due at 430 today for my grad class. i came to the library way early today and now i'm done and have 2 hours to kill. ugh. sooo...

a couple of examples that i've seen, just today, of how people are idiots...

i hate people that walk around with umbrellas. walking around on a college campus this morning in the rain, it seems like 90% of people carry an umbrella. unfortunately, that is an 89% greater chance of getting poked in the eye than on any non-rain day. Maybe it's sorority girls who are too caught up on their cell phones to notice, or maybe it's the 3 people trying to squeeze under one umbrella, but damn it people, watch where you're going.

you might not have this problem if you are, say, 5'4" or 6'2", but as an average-height american male, 5'9" seems to be perfect poking height for every umbrella. i feel like, with my hoodie pulled up, ducking and dodging umbrellas, i must look like some kind of terrorist freak.

another example... like i said, i'm in the library. not a public library open to any old person, but a university library. today is my first day in the mason library, and i managed to find a seat, connect wirelessly to the internet, get a student id made so that i could check out books, locate every book i needed (it's no alderman, trust me...), and add money to my newly minted mason id so that i could print off everything i had worked up, and actually figure out how to print it out. that's pretty productive, i think.

however, as i was standing printing out my proposal, a young lady, standing at the computer terminal next to me, wanted to know if i could help her out real quick. "certainly," i said. i never turn down a good looking blonde. her question? "so, how do i find one of these books?" "with the call number," i replied. what came next? yup, you guessed it. this girl made it all the way to college and had no idea what a call number was. sad. further proves my point about george mason.

my new roommate

good stories sure to follow.

weekend of broken hearts

well, if you remember the rules i set forth several weeks ago in terms of having a good weekend, this weekend was, well, disappointing.

the skins dropped a 14-3 lead to the then-winless titans. ugly.

the hoos dropped a 20-0 lead to the hated couch-burning maryland terrapins. very ugly.

at least vpisu lost big time on thursday night. on national tv. to a national audience. to boston college. lost. badly. ugly, in a good way.

as somebody said to me tonight, it was definitely a weekend of broken hearts.

i also watched almost heaven tonight on hbo. while being incredibly predictable, it did have highlights... like reese witherspoon. and that guy from napoleon dynamite. but come on, who gardens in a cashmere sweater? the movie broke my heart because reese is really hot. and i have no shot. ever.

my obsession, no wait, addiction to text messaging has been taken to the limit the last couple of months. this morning, i finally decided to fight back. i know, i know, sending and receiving almost 900 text messages over your limit is somewhat incredible, but hey... i don't speak directly with anybody anymore. i'm hip. or maybe european? aren't those two things independent of each other? anyway, i got charged an extra $91.38 for texting this month on my (already high) cell phone bill. $91.38? that's like a pack of cigarettes or a mocha frappucino everyday... that's an expensive addiction.

so, i called verizon this morning and, when asked what i was calling for, i told the kind lady that i figured that upgrading to the next highest text messaging package (i was already at 500 texts/month) was probably much cheaper than the $91.38 i would be paying. indeed, i was right. an extra $5/month was all it would take to cover my dirty habit. i told her that was fantastic and to go ahead and sign me up.

then, i built up the courage and asked if she could apply that discount to this month's bill. i kindly pleaded that a large corporation like verizon wouldn't even notice the additional $72.40 on their bottom line, and that i had been a loyal customer for many (5+) years. after haggling for a few minutes... actually, no, she said as a "courtesy" she would be more than happy to do that for me. i didn't have to plead. but trust me, i had it ready. i wonder how many "courtesies" you get?

so boom, it was done. i made $72.40 today. on a sunday. that's pretty good - and i guess the only person's heart that broke was ivan seidenberg. he'll get over it. after all, it's just money, and certainly not as important as a football loss.

perils of being a swim coach...

coaching swimming is incredible. i love it. i honestly can't believe that i get paid to do it. however, there is one downfall... swim meets in the fall. why? well, because they force me to miss football. not just uva games on saturdays, but skins games on sundays as well.

i know, maybe it's just a small price to pay for doing something i truly enjoy, but it definitely disappoints me every time i look at the meet schedule and see that i'll be missing another game or two.

the bright side of this? well, fortunately, i didn't get to watch the redskins game last week (the terrible, terrible loss to the giants) and i also didn't get to watch (...or listen to) the uva/maryland debacle. so, i guess all in all, i'm able to avoid the frustration and disappointment of actually sitting through the miserableness that are my football teams.

on a lighter note, i hope i see some kid wearing this costume on halloween. hilarious.

thank you, reddit.

my apologies

damn this blog has been boring for about the last week. sorry.

between moving and swim meets and school and work, i've been crazy. but i've said that already.

anyway, here's a link i thought was interesting. it's in relation to the whole mark foley fiasco. a lot of interesting psychological talk.

last week, whilst still living at home, i asked my parental unit (a republican elected official) when he was planning to jump ship in the wake of all the scandalous republican behavior and get on the same team as former-republican turned dem jim webb. he looked up from his morning paper and seemed slightly annoyed. his response? a deadpan, "ha. nope." sipped his coffee. back to the paper. end of discussion. i'll just assume he was deep in thought about bringing rail to dulles.

get ready for the weekend! i got an hdtv, so i'm ready!

thanks to reddit for the link

we all think it...

but i don't think i could have put it any better myself:

anonymous IM buddy (10:02:44 PM): so I weigh my options as to who I'm more likely to sleep with, obviously

so, guy or girl? what do you think?

christmas in october

recently, i moved to reston. i know, i know, reston isn't the bright lights or big fun of the city, but, it's all i can afford.

so speaking of big cities, the last time i saw 90% of the stuff that i own, it was all in the big city of lincoln, nebraska. well, that didn't go so well, and last september, i picked up and headed back to town.

then the problem became this: how the hell do you get an apartments worth of stuff back to virginia? well, i hired movers. professional ones.

this can only be good, right? well, yes and no. yes because of course, they went to the fine state of ne and packed all of my stuff up. i didn't have to do it. no because, well, they wrapped everything, and i do mean everything, in paper. not a little paper, but a lot. they wrapped single cds in paper, every spoon in paper, you name it, it was individually wrapped in paper.

this made moving quite difficult. difficult because, well, everything had to be unwrapped... at first i thought it would be annoying, and despite the mountains of paper, it was actually fun. it truly was christmas in october as i unwrapped all of the things that i hadn't seen for more than a year (it had all sat in storage...).

what did i find? plenty of cool stuff that i'd forgotten about... the highlight of the whole move? a brand new, unopened bottle of jefferson's reserve. i also found plenty of things that didn't make me quite as happy... pictures i forgot about, things that broke, etc.

in the end, though, it definitely feels good to get my stuff back.

article 20? hell yeah

as a student who was greek, we had to sit through many lectures and speakers about topics ranging from alcohol abuse to rape. it was an attempt to educate members of fraternities and sororities about the dangers that exist in a collegiate alcohol induced haze type of environment. and the punishment for not sitting through them? well, social probation, of course. you better believe everybody was there.

oftentimes, these speakers were interesting and informative. and sometimes, they were just downright uncomfortable.

one of the speakers we had actually gave out the forms you'll see in this video. we all got a good laugh out of them as they were passed around and so it brought back old memories when i saw this link this morning. check it out, it's hilarious. and the girl is pretty hot.

ahhh college.

thanks to reddit for the link

$75 parking ticket?

i take a night class at george mason during the week. i'm very slowly working towards my masters degree.

parking permits, for the semester, are $100. that's seriously a lot of money to park for one day a week. so what have i been doing? attempting to park in the permit lot without a permit, of course. sure, i could park in the parking garage, but the traffic getting out of there after class is absolutely miserable. i have to be in tysons corner for work at 730, and class gets out at 710. so, if i park in the farthest farthest away permit lot (trust me, it's far), i can run out to my car, beat all the traffic and be at the pool somewhat on-time.

well, last week i got a parking ticket. not surprisingly, but after 3 weeks of getting away with it, i figured i'd be good to go.

it was $75. if i remember correctly, our parking tickets at UVA went something like this... your first violation? warning ticket. yup, you got one per calendar year. after that, a ticket would cost you (depending on the severity...) something like $15 or $20. and they were $50 for repeat offenders. to get a $75 ticket you pretty much had to be parked in casteen's driveway...

i appealed the ticket. the grounds? i'm too poor to buy a permit. i mean seriously, all they had to do was look at my car (the acura!) and see that i clearly couldn't afford a parking permit. what did i say? i said that i work construction to be able to afford to go to class and buy books (true). i also said that i thought $100 was outrageous just to park one day a week (also true).

i'll let you know whether or not i get the ticket thrown out. i figured it was a little ridiculous to say that i was too poor to buy one, but it was true, so i figured why the hell not try...

busy busy

sorry i haven't posted in a couple of days, but i've been busy busy. i have lots of stuff to write about, i'll try to put something up tonight. i've got lots going on (ie. moving, interviewing, and actually working, swim meets, etc.)

so! sorry you can't be distracted today, but i'll try harder. i promise.

if you really need something to occupy you, visit dcblogs and read about lots of other peoples adventures.

perfect weekend?

well, if i defined my perfect weekend, it would pretty much have gone just like this. despite having to work most of the day on saturday (...and getting up at 5:04am), the weekend still went perfectly.

what would you define as the perfect weekend, you ask? there are 3 core elements:

1. a Redskins win. this trumps the other two things listed below, and as long as this occurs, the weekend is at least salvageable
2. a Virginia win. this cannot, in and of itself, quite overshadow the misery associated with a redskins loss. it is, however, an essential ingredient to the perfect weekend
3. and of course, a virginia polytechnic institute and state university loss. again, like the virginia win, it cannot overshadow either of the above by itself

a lot of people might ask how a victory by The University is not on the same level as a victory by the Redskins. let me clarify: the Redskins, i was born into. i know no other way. the Hoos? well, as my alma mater, they come in a very close second. but my dad didn't go to college, my mom went to east carolina, and my step-dad is a hokie. i wasn't born into it. eighteen years is a long time.

so, was it the the perfect weekend? let's review -

1. true. a Redskins victory. 36-30 in overtime! i mean come on, our offense was beast
2. true. a Virginia victory. despite the fact that we played duke, a 36 point shutout is always welcomed
3. true. a VPISU loss. a thorough 38-27 pummeling of the hokies by the ramblin' wreck. don't worry, it wasn't as close as the score indicates

overall? i would say that in combination with a quality saturday night, this weekend definitely gets an A. perfect? i guess not... there's always room for improvement. but remember, i set the bar high.